A Candle for Finn
by Loki Firefox
Summary: A one-shot that I meant to release for Halloween/All Saint's Day. Better late than never, I guess. It's in the same 'verse as Appreciation and Loss but this story happens outside of the plot of that story. Blaine deals with the loss of Finn by rediscovering an old custom.


It was a dismal Halloween for Blaine this year. He was reminiscing of the time right before classes ended when he, Sam, Puck and Finn had decided to dress up as the Avengers for Oct 31, even if Sam and Blaine would be in New York. Finn was going to be Thor, Puck was going as the Hulk and Sam as Captain America. They even grabbed Jake and got him to agree to come as Nick Fury and Puck was able to convince him to shave his head for the occasion. Of course that meant Marley got in on things and agreed to go as the Black Widow. Blaine wanted to go as Iron Man but Hawkeye's costume was easier to put together and he already had a bow from when he took archery, but he didn't want to go as Hawkeye. Fortunately with Marley and Jake in that meant Ryder was dragged in, too, and Ryder was having a hard time finding a character so Blaine happily told him that he can borrow his bow and told him to go as Hawkeye. Ryder's smile lit up the room.

Blaine was all set to convince his dad that he just _had_ to go as Iron Man so if he could please lend him the money to put the costume together when Finn shouted, "Cool! Now you can totally be Loki! You'll be my bro!"

How could he say no to that?

Kurt even helped out. He sourced out materials and even got tips from some of the tailors at Vogue on how to get around the trickier pieces and passed the info on to them. The gang met up at least once a week to work on their costumes but sometimes they would meet up more often just to hang out.

One time while Blaine was checking out apartments in New York, Finn came with him to visit Kurt and Rachel and the two of them went with Kurt to this warehouse somewhere in Queens where they found all kinds of fabrics and pieces, mostly for the Thor and Loki costumes. Kurt told them since they were both Asgardians their costumes should look like they were made in the same place. They had an amazing time. Finn was instrumental in helping Kurt and Blaine find that balance where they could be friends despite their history.

Puck's was the first costume to come together, no surprise since he just needed torn jeans and green body paint. Puck did hit the gym harder to get even more ripped. The SHIELD characters were the next to get done quickly as it was basically a collection of close-fitting black pieces. It was the props that made it stand out and the patches which they were able to score easily and Marley was able to find a red wig from Unique's impressive collection. Sam's was harder, especially since he didn't want to be "a mooch" and wanted to pay for everything himself but with some misdirection and outright swapping of materials when Sam wasn't looking, he got the costume done pretty fast. And if he crowed about having a costume as good as the others without having to borrow money for it, the others kept their grins to themselves and just agreed with him.

The Thor and Loki costumes were much more complex and both Finn and Blaine spent several nights in the Hudmel house super-glueing and sewing pieces well into the evening. Blaine really opened up and, in turn, learned a lot more about Finn than he ever expected.

He knew there was more to Finn than the nice jock who sings but even then, those nights showed him a side to Finn he never expected or even realized existed.

Finn was not a hateful person. If he said anything offensive it was due to ignorance or misinformation, and once he realized his mistake, he never repeated it. Finn was no angel but he had an innate sense of justice that being in glee club had nurtured until it became one of his most defining traits.

He also found out that Finn loved dates. As in the fruit. He loved dates and figs and the few times his mom would get them as a treat, he would get stuck in delicious agony of whether he should eat them all in one sitting or ration them so they would last longer.

Finn also never missed an episode of America's Next Top Model. He got into it when Kurt moved in. Kurt always watched the show and no matter what Finn did, he'd never change the channel. Finn always complained but would end up watching the whole show. At first it was because a lot of the girls were hot but at some point he, Kurt and Carole would argue about which model had the better photograph and who deserved the win more. Finn also admitted he learned a lot about showmanship and presenting his best side from watching the show.

They finished their costumes two weeks ahead of schedule (Kurt's assistance was a **huge** impact) and they went all over Lima taking photos in costume. Considering what happened, Blaine is so happy that they did that.

It was Halloween yesterday and his Loki costume stayed in his closet. He and Sam came down to Lima from New York as planned. The tickets were already purchased and seemed a waste not to use them. They met up with Jake, Marley and Ryder. Puck had signed up for the Air Force and was in training somewhere. None of them felt like dressing up.

Now it was All Saint's Day. All Hallow's Day. He hoped that his mother was keeping up the old tradition. For the first time in a long time Blaine wanted to honor Finn.

He got up and went to the sitting room left of the stairs three doors down from his room. It was primarily used by his grandmother when she would come to visit before she passed. The room held the few articles of faith that technically he belonged to. He is technically a Catholic but it's been years since he's seen the inside of a church outside of a tour. Blaine could never be a part of an institution that could not accept what he was. He was raised as one until he came out and his mother understandably allowed him to stop going to mass and participate in rituals that still meant a lot to her.

Partly out of sensitivity to him, and partly because she found it a little kitschy, she had relegated the statue of the Sto. Niño, the painting of the Lady of Guadalupe, and the bas relief sculpture of the Sacred Heart, and a few other religious articles that she had acquired and inherited, to his grandmother's old sitting room that has since been called his mother's praying room.

In front of the statue of the Sto. Niño he could see that his mother had already started. She had placed two shot glasses, one filled with rum and the other, he guessed, was beer. There were small plates of food: suman, some of the Halloween candy, last night's curry, and a banana. There was also a cigar.

The statue had a fresh garland as well as a vase of fresh flowers on the side. Two long candles were lit and there were six votive candles in front of the statue. Two were already lit. Blaine smiled at that. It's been years since he had lit a candle, and it's been years since Cooper has lived in this house but his mom would always put the same number of candles as people that lived in the house. Dad always lit his at dusk, while mom and Yaya Estring did theirs in the morning. The other two were for him and Cooper and he guessed the sixth was for Sam, who was staying over. Just like mom to include Sam but not telling him so he wouldn't feel obligated to participate.

"Blaine?"

Blaine turned around and saw Sam standing at the doorway, eyes wide at what he saw before him.

"I know," Blaine smiled, "looks pretty hardcore, doesn't it?"

"What is all this?"

"It's how we honor the dead," Blaine said as he looked around until he found the box of matches in one of the drawers. "Today is All Saint's Day or All Hallow's Day. If we were living in the Philippines we would be in the cemetery to spend the day—"

"Spend the day in the cemetery?" Sam interrupted. "Isn't that kinda creepy?"

"Not when everyone is there," Blaine said, "it's pretty festive actually. I think it's a custom we borrowed from Mexico. You visit the different families and of course you get fed and it's a real food trip, too. Families make their specialties so you can have soup from the Gamboas because they make the best batchoy, then you know that Sicangcos are famous for their shredded adobo so you go there for that, the Bustamantes have a killer sweet-and-sour pork and then the Gallagas—"

"That sounds kinda disrespectful," Sam butted in a little aghast.

"I guess to an outsider it might be," Blaine conceded. "Honestly I only went once and it was pretty overwhelming but my mom said it's a way to connect to those who died by remembering them and telling their stories and to remind you about the living and connecting to people you might not meet except in certain times of the year. Family is important to Filipinos."

"I guess since they know of it, the dead Filipinos would be offended if no one partied on their grave during this time, right?" Sam offered.

Blaine grinned, unsurprised yet still amazed at Sam's ability to accept things outside his experience. "Mom left a candle for you," Blaine revealed and Sam's face lit up, he so loved being included.

Sam shuffled beside Blaine and asked, "So what do I do?"

"You light a candle and, well, you kinda have some quiet time. You can stand in silence if that's all you want to do. You can say a prayer or ask God to look out for their souls and protect your loved ones. If you want to talk to someone close to you who's passed on, you can do that, too."

Sam looked at Blaine knowingly and Blaine was reminded that while Sam was simple, he was by no means stupid. Sam's mouth twitched a bit and he whispered, "I miss Finn, too."

Blaine nodded and he took a match out of the box and handed the matchbox to Sam. He brought his match to one of the long candles until it ignited and lit one of the votive candles.

For a minute he just stood there and didn't know what to say. It's been years since he did anything like this. The last time was the year right before the Sadie Hawkin's Dance. After what happened to him then, he found it difficult to find solace in the rituals of a church that condemned him. But he remembered his grandmother, his abuelita. She was as devout as they come, never missed a mass, and used to invite her parish priest to lunch every week. Yet she was one of the first to suspect that he was gay and she never wavered in her love for him. He never came out to her but he never felt like he had to. So he started to talk to her and told her how much he missed her. That he hoped that she was proud of him and all that he's done. Then he asked that she look out for Cooper, even though he wasn't her grandson, Cooper needs all the guidance he can get and abuelita was generous enough to count him as one of hers, and did when she was alive.

He prayed that God watch over his parents, Cooper and Yaya Estring. That he keep them safe because they are all the family he has left. He has tons of relatives back in the Philippines but his actual family is small and oh so vulnerable.

He prayed for Finn. That Finn was someplace where he could have figs and dates, and also not because sometimes it's the not having that makes the having all the sweeter. That he was watching this cycle of ANTM and he's somewhere where he can wear the Thor costume and totally rock it.

That Finn was someplace where he could sing and be able to teach and inspire and lead because that was Finn. Where he could uphold justice. Because that was Finn. He asked God to let Finn watch over him and Sam and Rachel and Kurt and everyone else because with Finn on guard they will be safe.

"You okay?"

Blaine blinked and turned to Sam. Blaine felt wetness on his face and realized he was crying.

"Yeah, yeah I am," Blaine nodded and wiped his tears away. "Want to have some breakfast?"

"Sure."

The two boys quietly left the room feeling lighter than when they came in.


End file.
